May be Wordy...

There are a select few are gifted in weaving verse so poignant, it haunts the inner soul. These people are sporadic among us. They provide nourishment for the soul, through emotion in the form of words. Poetry, has thus become a tool for many, all seeking to follow in the footsteps of great poets such as Shakespeare and TS Elliot. However, Shakespeare and Elliot were geniuses... Most people are simply not "Shakespearean" in nature and should not pursue poetry for the sake of all mankind.

Because of its accessibility, poetry has been subjugated by many aspiring bad poets, leading to the creation of many bastardized variants of poetry. Despite the vast differences 'Bad' poetry may have with its superior cousin in measures of talent, Bad poetry can prove to be equally, or even more entertaining. Awful poetry as such is commonplace, especially on the Internet, where various tortured poets dwell.

Last night, i found myself amused by The Waitress, which i had dismissed originally due to my inaccurate presumption that it was a "Chick Flick." Do not be deterred by this as you will miss out on a good movie which manages to balance humour and emotional impact masterfully. My only quirk was that its ending was not as satisfactory as it could have been, and more loose ends could have be tightened up. But back to the point, what inspired this post was actually one of the characters in the film, a geeky stalker dwarf by the moniker of "Ogie"(Played by Eddie Jemison), which is apparently short for Oklahoma. His atrocious poetry left me in tears, for sheer humour value. Watch it, and you'll know what I mean...

So, how do you write bad poetry? The answer should come naturally, but for the sake of you idiotic aspirants, i will instruct you in the ways of the 'bad poet'.

There has been much debate amidst the Bad Poet community on whether or not Bad poems should rhyme. While some believe that all efforts should should made in order for the verse to be structured in rigid Iambic form, others feel that such inflexibility limits the freedom which poetry is supposed to convey. One good example of bad poetry is as such.

I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep fronting (uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I ain't see nothin' (ah)

I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep fronting (uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I ain't see nothin' (ah)

Note the skillful manipulation of sounds to create an overall rhyming effect, albeit horrible poetry. When creating bad poetry, just use all means (alliteration, repetition) for this desired effect to degrade yourself as much as possible.

Your poetry should include as many themes which you do not know about. These themes should be deep and impressive, so as make your poetry seem as profound as can be. Themes such as Nihilism, War, and Politics should do fine here. And remember, It's not what you know that counts, its how much you write which does. You are at the liberty to shit out as much crap as you want, don't let something like quality control get in your way.

I could ramble on and all, but i believe that should i rant on any longer, the verbosity of this post may overwhelm your puny brains and cause your cerebrums to dis-function. Good bye and have fun shitting up the universe with Bad poetry.