Diploma in Warfare

Some Lessons in warfare we can learn from watching King Arthur, It being an excellent representation of what medieval warfare was like.
To fully appreciate the ingenuity of this post, please watch King Arthur. Free Publicity hor...

1.)People superior to you in rank are Jerks.

This is a Universal fact and is unable to be refuted by any Evidence, be it hard, soft, or of a degree varying between the two.

2.)Why spend time smelting swords when you have screws?


In the 15th century, no one's got time to scoot over to the blacksmith to order a sword with all the serfing and lording that needs to be done. The solution: Simply pop on an unused hilt onto the edge of a sword and use your Phillips-Head Screwdriver to magically induce weaponry of sturdy quality. This frees up valuable time for other leisurely 15th century pastimes, such as Bike riding and Computer games.

3.)Skinny, emaciated girls are able to wield weapons twice their weight.



Contrary to popular belief, Females do not need to stock up on anabolic steroids in order to measure up with their male counterparts. They are blessed with the ability to exhibit colossal strength in hostile situations, and store all that magnificent tenacity in their diminutive figures. Just look at Guinevere draw a full size bow, a considerable task even for male archers, with ease.
Keira Knightley is 105 lbs and she is able to draw a Bow. I can't even draw a Circle...

4.)Horses are an effective tool against shields.

As as the film depicts it, shields are in actual fact constructed out of a partially permeable membrane which is able to allow horses to diffuse through it. Knights on steeds are therefore able to charge through clustered groups of footmen like a hot knife does through butter.

5.)If you're the first wave sent into attack, you're probably going to die.

This is because in every war, there is a prerequisite of dead bodies to fulfill before it can be considered a war. Likewise, in every movie, there is also a fixed quota of dead bodies to realize in order for viewers to consider the lead characters as severely overpowered in warfare. Therefore, if wish not to meet with a grimly demise in battle, Never volunteer to lead your platoon, Heed not your officer's commands and always scurry to the back like a little girl.

6.)In a game of Rock Paper Scissors, Just use Fire.

Charmanders are well sought after in times of Medieval War

Because Fire always wins everything else. Fire burns paper, melts scissors, and... exfoliates the rock. Fire wins just about everything except for Water. But what are you going to do with water in wartime? Super soak your opponent? Fire also solves every problem under the sun; When you're angry with your laundry? Burn your laundry. When you're angry with your friends? Burn your friends. When you're angry with life? Burn yourself. Need I say more about Fire?

7.)Your best friend always gets it.

And when I say 'It', I don't mean getting laid. I mean getting Dead. So as to make the main character more conflicted and brooding than he already is. Everyone loves a good heart wrenching tragedy. All the more reason not to be close friends with your commander, after all, fate has a funny way of manifesting herself.

8.)Killing the Leader of your enemies is equivalent to an instantaneous win.


You Kill one Saxon, You've killed them all.

Somehow, my initial impression of warfare was not something like this, where you are able to smite down the incurred wrath of a whole army by eliminating its leader in a one on one duel to the death. I must commend the Saxons for all dying at the right moment, when their leader is struck down. Very precise timing and excellent coordination.

Walk away today with a better understanding of War, and remember: When all else fails, use Fire.