Moist.

Like, OH MY GOD
I just talked to a girl over the telephone!
And I just wet my pants.

Alright, I know you guys want details. But let me compose myself cause that was just so so hot hawt HAUTZzZ!!! The conversation was like:

girl: Welcome to Mcdonalds, Can I take your order?

me: hangs up.

This must be how fornication feels like.

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Leave a comment to let me know how much you love me.

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Apparently no one loves me... sobxsobx

What's not In?

Hello, today i will be Tt...blawking about smoking. Smoking, was made popular back in the nineteen-seventy sixes somethings during the great Inuit massacre. As there was overpopulation of Inuits, Hunters were headhunted for their abilities to hunt heads, and delegated the honorable task of Inuit genocide. Their reward, was the holy pipe, now better known in today's context as a "fag." In those days, cigarettes were a status symbol, which were only made available to those who were affluent.


A Inuit hunter, lighting up after a long hard day of work.

However, in present times, smoking has become a much frowned upon practice as recent medical studies have confirmed the many hazards one exposes himself to with every puff. It is therefore my duty, (this being an educational site and what not...) to enlighten the masses out there on smoking.

Today, I met with one of these smokers at a bus stop. To my dismay, she had decided to situate herself right amidst the crowd of people awaiting for their buses as it was raining. Unperturbed by the many stares she was gathering, she proceeded to light up and inhale slowly. Now I'm not sure, but i think there's some law against being stupid in public.

Do these people actually know what they are doing to their bodies every time they take a puff? They compromise the health of themselves, and the people around them with acrid SECOND HAND SMOKE. So it's not just their problem, You may also be a passive smoker.

Also, do you want these as lungs?



Or fats in your blood vessels?


Also, this particular smoker was quite young, probably around sixteen or seventeen years of age. In my opinion, girls shouldn't smoke, unless they want to throw their lives down the drain. Smoking only cuts down their future options when it comes to finding a life partner... Anyone who sees anything in girls like these would either be a hooligan, or a very desperate man. Have you seen what smoking does to your teeth? they are teeth that not even a mother would love. There are benefits though, You probably won't have to spend anything on abortions seeing as your kids will be stillborn or miscarriage'd... Also, you will perpetually smell of cigarette smoke, which every man just loves. Free Perfume too!

So anyway, kids who are thinking that smoking is cool cause it's rebellious and all. Don't.
Cause you won't be able to get out of it once to start... And speaking of rebellious, the "rebel is cool" image died out a long time ago... Rebellious is like the time of Grease. The time your parents were born...


Yeah I'm hip...

To you smokers out there, I'm apologetic about this post's offensiveness... but please, for the sake of ourselves, buy a goddamn nicotine patch and stop smoking...

Haizz..

I can't deliver aforementioned sucky blog post today because i have other stuff to rant about today. Please bear with my constant tardiness when it comes to producing shoddy work.

My hand phone was dropped... into a pail of water yesterday. And i only see it fitting that it deserves a tearful eulogy in memorial of it's faithful service.

A Tearful Eulogy:

You were constantly kept at my side.
Although you didn't really have much of a choice.
umm...
Your Megapixels were far more advanced than those your age...
Yar, a fine handphone, the best anyone could ask for
much better than this repulsive piece of crap i have to use now

Also, all trace evidence that linked Dwee with pianorokr have been removed...

Some girl got expelled today... stupid bitch.

I'll do up this post tomorrow and remove above since i have tuition now...

Look at whatcha done

Statement: There has been constant pressure applied to me by others, whose main intention is to get the me to blog more. Although disinclined initially, this perpetual force has finally coerced me to concede.

Hypothesis: This Blog is going to blow. (Even harder than Bulletball.)

Evidence: When this blog was first updated at a leisurely pace of once a week, I was able to disguise my inadequacies at blogging initially. You must try understand that I basically lack the key essential elements which are made available in majority of bloggers in the blawk-go-sphear, and therefore the task at hand is therefore... onerous.

"Lack Elements? LOL wut toking abt u? ur blog pro sia..."

Maybe some of you may ask this, and i appreciate your kind intentions. But they do not mask the fact that when i am stripped down right to the core, i am just downright not inclined to blogging. Why?

Firstly, I have no interests or pursuits which are really worth mentioning. Also, my aptitude tests have shown that i have no social skills whatsoever. Bluntly put, I have no Life.

Secondly, my English standards are seemingly regressive. It won't be long before my god given knack of writing palpable english begin to recede like a sort of 'Flowers for Algernon' effect whar i dont really right ne more sense and dis blog will just like (haiz) sux cox lol. soon i wunt remember how put dose DOTZ at de n of sentence lol haiz. mish myuh proeproe englizh haha...

That's right, the lowest form of language is AOL speak.

And Last but not least, I am absolutely not funny. No... you didn't think I would have a sense of humour would you? Well I used to have one but i imported it from Taiwan and it wasn't really made properly. Yeah, damn those lousy manufacturers. Haha, what would make you think i have a sense of humour... You're the joke lol.


Spiderman wants blogged good too...

Conclusion: Prepare yourself for mudane shit and not top of the mill classy standard posts.

On a side note, Wo De Hua Yu Na Yi San. Wo Hen Kai Xin.

Happuh Burf Dae

I caught a few glimpses of the National Day Parade last Thursday. You know, Testosterone fueled burly men demonstrating what they'll do to you should you commit an offence... Paratroopers jumping out of planes to reflect on how "vibrant and technologically advanced we are."
so on and so forth... same old, same old...

Which was why I choked on my Cheese fondue dipped Pizza upon seeing this monstrosity:

mutant n. An individual, organism, or new genetic character arising or resulting from mutation.

This is Sing, the main character of this year's National Day Parade, who symbolizes tremendous will power and bountiful energy of Singapore and Singaporeans. And throughout the show segment, SING journeys through various territories and succeeds against all odds and is rewarded with endless possibilities.

We obviously have very poor representation then. According to the very annoying commentary throughout the parade, The vibrant red colour supposedly represents our creativity. Well, someone at costumes sure has creativity. The outfits are so creative, it's clawing away at my anus. The red you see, is the blood from the lacerating.

On a side question which is still relevant to the topic, who is this guy? Because he is bloody sensational...


I AM THE KING! UHHUHUH

He sang the second NDP song this year, and his high energy performance (complete with karate high kicks and dyed blond hair) was better than anything i had seen in NDP.

Also, Happy Birthday to the next in line. Thanks for taking shit from me...